I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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