I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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