winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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