Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.