We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
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MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
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My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory