Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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