It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
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