so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
