I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
