There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Randomize
