I think I am morally bankrupt
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
