his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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