so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
