Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize