i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
