Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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