I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
