You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize