Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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