My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
whose parrot is this?
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
