Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
