I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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