Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Life is so much better after having sex.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Randomize
