Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
