Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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