Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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