he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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