Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
