in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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