But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
