do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
