Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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