You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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