Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
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Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
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woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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