At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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