somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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