if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
