To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
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I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
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I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
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