Christians are straight up FREAKS
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
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