News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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