This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
