forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
