i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
