I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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