What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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