I never want to see another naked old woman again.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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