it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I just want to make out with him forever
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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