Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I got inside last night via doggy door
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize
