Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.