Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS