Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize