we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
