Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
