I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Can I color on your dick again?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
as a side note pls kill me
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
