I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
