I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
